Sometimes I question myself when I’m writing at the time of when bad or negative things happen. And it’s a mental note to myself to be more mindful and write, record and share happy things too!
But it often makes sense, because you go deep within , start reflecting like a maniac and are in complete exasperation when things majorly fuck up.Then you just want to meditate, journal, shift and write the negative energy away, so that’s what I’m doing!
And it’s not that chronic sufferers (ahem, warriors) should get special VIP treatment when bad things happen, because bad things happen to everyone, not just us. But sometimes you’re thinking- GOD DAMN it, this is just NOT FUCKING FAIR.
All summer, I had been struggling with a couple of common cold/flu infections due to COPD making my system more vulnerable to bugs. But there was one secret lurking demon, and that came in the form of ‘psuedomonas’. It’s a superbug known to affect vulnerable immune systems such as CF, COPD/Bronchiectasis and elderly patients who are already ill. Having picked it up in May 2018, it was treated with oral antibiotics over a week. Or at least I thought so.
I had kept myself busy and was deliberately trying to, so I could circumvent the loneliness I was feeling from being a remote worker. I was trying to create social opportunities for myself, spend time with quality friends, had two weddings, a weekend hen party abroad and another wedding abroad in Greece. And a holiday yoga retreat booked to Bali. I was excited to have a busy, full-on summer filled with fun, good company, lots of new things to explore and doing things I love with people I love. Normality was all I wanted. Interaction, human connection and good health. And it was the first year I’ve planned a lot and been ambitious since being diagnosed with COPD.